Season 1, Episode 6: Lights, Camera, Ego!

Tomorrow, September 7, is the 28th anniversary of the first episode of Small Wonder.  I just kind of wanted to throw it out there.  My love of pop culture and all that.  Well, let's get to this episode, which aired like a month later.

We start off with Ted programming Vicki.  What super important skill is she going to learn that motivates the plot this week?  To catch flies.  I’m starting to think this is an episode that needed time filled.  Jamie comes home soon after Vicki shows off her new skill and shows that he’s the original karate kid and catches a fly himself.  Dang, guys, Jamie isn’t all useless.

Jamie announces that in school they were assigned some social studies project and he and his friend Reggie were going to make a movie about creatures from another planet.  Finally!  Reggie finally is going to show up.  Jamie announces that the aliens are robots and that Vicki could play one, which leads to Joan’s catchphrase, “That’s cute.”  Ted is reluctant to let Vicki participate at first, but he figures since he did build her to be a slave help other humans out, he agrees.

Reggie soon comes over, and is like the third person ever to use the front door.  Isn’t it convenient how people always seem to know which room the Lawsons are in?  Jamie introduces Reggie to his family, still calling Vicki his cousin.  Reggie goes to shake hands with Vicki, but she doesn’t know what she’s doing, and Reggie’s eyes pop out of his head.  I get that Vicki’s strange to outsiders, but that’s no excuse for overacting.

Jamie volunteers Joan to make the costumes for the movie while he and Reggie go up to his room.  Knowing Jamie, they’re going to read comics and not do any work at all.  I’m not saying that Jamie is lazy, but… wait, no, that is exactly what I’m saying.  Jamie is lazy.

Oh, wait!  I’m surprised that they’re actually working on it.  I’m not that surprised that Reggie’s doing the actual work, but Jamie is coming up with ideas and really, that’s about all you can expect from Jamie.  That, and catching flies.  Jamie refuses to let Reggie get a word in edgewise, until he needs to decide how many robots they should have in the movie.  Reggie says there should only be one or else they’ll blow their budget.  Reggie is too smart for this show.  However, Jamie is Jamie and is upset that they can’t have a cast of thousands.  Joan, Reggie, Harriet, and Vicki need to have their own show that’s just them, and Brandon Brindle can visit sometimes.  Seriously.

Vicki comes up with a plate of cookies for the boys, and she throws it on the desk.  She was told to give it to them, and in the first episode she dropped the breakfast in bed because of that command, but, you know, a part of me really hopes that Vicki’s just sick of being the family slave and is acting out, just a bit.  Reggie’s like, “Wow, that’s a little aggressive,” and Jamie plays it off like Vicki clowning around.  Then Vicki gets into the cabinet.

This is the most perfect, “what the shit?” face I have ever seen.  Almost makes up for the overacting when he first met Vicki downstairs.  Jamie says that Vicki’s just practicing being a robot and the cabinet is her rocket ship, and Reggie acts like he buys it, but Reggie totally doesn’t buy it because he has a brain.

Jamie goes back to talking about the movie and everything he’s going to do, but Reggie’s still on the rocket ship the whole time.  Reggie calls him out on it, because Reggie ain’t got time for Jamie’s shit.  Jamie’s like, “You’re in it, shut up, you don’t see Vicki complaining.”  That’s when Reggie puts together that Vicki is a robot, but Jamie’s like, “She’s method acting.”  No, Reggie is a genius and he’s figured it out.  For the rest of the series, I choose to believe he’s humoring the Lawsons and not pointing out that they’re morons.  Reggie even asks what happens if Vicki has to go to the bathroom, and Vicki says she’s not programmed to go to the bathroom, and his reaction is gold.

That’s the face of someone who realizes he’s best friends with a moron and just didn’t know it.  But he plays along and says, “We better make this movie quick!”  Which is a fair reaction – on the off chance Jamie isn’t a dirty liar and Vicki isn’t a robot, holding it in that long could be tragic.

After kicking Vicki out of the room, Jamie keeps going on about his ideas for the movie, and Reggie’s like, “Dude, this is supposed to be our movie.  You’re not even doing any actual writing so shut up and let me have some input!”  Jamie’s like “suck it,” and Reggie’s like “you suck it” and Reggie wants to know what his contribution to the movie is, and Jamie’s like, “You bring the money, dumbass.”  Oh, Jamie.  You’re going to be voted most likely to be murdered by a “loved” one.

Even the work-ophobic Ted is contributing more than Jamie to his own project.  Jamie comes out and Ted asks what Jamie thinks and Jamie’s like, “This is the best you can do?”  Dude, your dad did work for you.  You don’t know what a sacrifice that was for him.  Be grateful.  Of course, this is Jamie, the most spoiled brat on the show, and he starts bossing his dad around more.  Seriously, Ted, you can build an army of passive-aggressive yet obedient children – cut your losses and dump Jamie at some orphanage.  Ted’s like you could help out, and Jamie’s like, “Um, no I can’t, I’m Jamie Lawson, I don’t do shit.”  In all fairness, Ted, he learned that behavior from you.  Maybe you should have been less alpha in the past.

Harriet comes over and wants to know what Jamie’s doing, and Jamie’s so lazy he makes her guess instead of just telling her.  After she figures out they’re making a movie, she asks if she can be in it, and he says no because they’re not making a horror film.  Harriet’s too good for him.  Plus, Jamie, you wanted more than one robot, and here you could have had two.  You really are just useless.  Harriet’s a good sport, though, because she’s absolutely perfect compared to Jamie, and asks if she can at least watch, and Jamie still blows her off.  Ted, who maybe feels bad about that whole door slamming incident a few episodes ago, tells Harriet that she can watch, but she has to be quiet.  Harriet admits that’s probably not possible and happily skips off.  Harriet’s really under-utilized these past few episodes, but then again, this show hates women so I’m not that surprised.

Look how darling Vicki is!  Ted calls her a perfect robot, and Vicki repeats it like she’s happy that someone in the family is finally saying something nice about her.  Sorry, Vix, he meant a perfect robot for the movie, but no, you know, you deserve this moment.  Of course Jamie complains about the costume.  It’s Jamie.  Don’t expect him to do anything right ever.  I’m still surprised he caught that fly.

Reggie comes over, and Jamie feels that he can boss people around more properly now and starts yelling at everyone to do stuff.  Reggie finally speaks up about how unfair Jamie is being, and his parents and Vicki agree.  It’s like a mini-intervention for Jamie’s ego.  Of course, Jamie’s ego is too big for him to hear it, and he quits.  Choosing to not enable his brattiness a moment longer, they let him.  They’re not going to enable you anymore, Jamie.  At least, not for the rest of this episode.

The family finds Jamie up in his room and tell him he’s been really unfair to his best friend.  It’s really funny that Reggie’s his best friend but this is the first time the family’s met him.  Not that it matters, Jamie’s like, “I’m over Reggie.”  They try to explain to Jamie why his ego makes him Stalin-esque, but he’s still not in a place where he can hear it.  They offer Jamie one more chance to rejoin the movie, and he’s like, “No way, movie’s off.”  And Ted’s like, “No, it’s not.”  Jamie’s like, “But I quit!”  And Ted’s like, “Good luck with that, the rest of us are going to have fun now,  ‘k bye.”

True to their word, Jamie finds Reggie and the Lawsons in the backyard filming the movie without him.  Jamie caves and wants to be part of the movie again, so out of love, they tell him he can be part of it, but he has to be the gofer.  That’s hilarious.  That’s exactly the slap in the ego Jamie needs.  Of course, Jamie’s like, “But I was a director this morning, I can’t be a gofer!”  Oh, I’m starting to wonder if he is going to learn his lesson in just 22 minutes.  Jamie’s ego might be a problem he’s going to have to work hard to overcome for years.

Jamie begs for a part in the movie, so they put his foot and his hand in the movie.  I have to give it to the Lawsons, they are not enabling Jamie.  Jamie wants an important part, so Ted makes him bend over and slaps a “The End” sign on his ass.  You gotta love tough love.  It’s what finally leads Jamie to his breakthrough in realizing he was an ass and he treated everyone like dirt, so he apologizes for his shameful behavior.  I would love to say that this is the first step in improving Jamie’s character, but it’s really not.  He’ll go back to being self-absorbed soon enough.

Firsts: Reggie, Jamie accepting that his ego is a problem