Season 1, Episode 24: Grandpa Lawson's Visit

We’re here!  It’s the final episode of the first season!  It’s all downhill from here.  I shouldn’t say that.  I know my least favorite episode ever is still a ways off, and we’re still nowhere near my favorite episodes.  But the second season is better than the first season, and that makes me feel like I can breathe again.  This is also my absolute favorite first season episode.  I’ve hinted at it many times – they make the robot cry.

The family is eating breakfast when Vicki enters and gives Ted a lightbulb he requested.  Is her pinafore always going to change back and forth between episodes now?  That might drive me crazy.  Ted asks Vicki to test the lightbulb and she straight up channels Uncle Fester.  It’s a three way bulb, so Ted pulls on Vicki’s ear to do a thorough test.  Jamie wants to know how Vicki did that, and I would say maybe he’s a future engineer, but I know Jamie’s grades.  Ted says a bunch of technical mumbo jumbo, leading Joan to quip, “That makes sense.”  Ted immediately leaves for work, but tells Vicki to put the bulb in the living room lamp.  At least they didn’t forget about it.

 Right when Ted leaves, the phone rings.  It’s Jamie’s grandpa!  After they have a brief conversation about how Jamie has a thing for a 13 year old because he likes older, more experienced women (what?), Joan takes the phone from him.  Turns out grandpa’s coming to visit that upcoming weekend.  Ted comes back in right after the phone conversation, because that’s his timing, because the car battery doesn’t work.  Jamie tells Ted about the visit, which Ted initially thinks is great, but then realizes they can’t tell his dad that Vicki is a robot because his dad hates robots.  He worked for the same company for 40 years before he was let go and replaced by a robot.  That’s exactly what this show needed – robot prejudice.  Ted does try to cover Vicki’s ears to hide the truth from her, but her ears are so great she hears it anyway.  At least he tried to spare her feelings.  Ted decides they’re worrying for nothing because his dad’ll love Vicki once he meets her, and then they can tell the truth.

 Ted has Vicki help him with the car.  Joan is afraid that Ted’s going to make her push it, which he assures them is not the case, but doesn’t really clear things up.  Joan and Jamie follow him to see what he’s up to, and he hands Vicki jump starter cables.  Sure enough, Vicki jump starts the car.  Then Joan makes a menopause joke, because those are way more appropriate than sex jokes.

It’s the weekend already and Ted comes home with his parents.  Jamie, like all rude kids, demands a present, and he gets an African medicine man mask.  It’s supposed to keep away evil spirits.  Ted sits his parents down to tell them about an addition to the family, and Grandma makes the same assumption Jamie did many episodes ago, and assumes that Joan is pregnant.  She says Joan doesn’t show a bit and is flat as a pancake.  That is a compliment of the highest regard.  They say they adopted a little girl, and Grandpa says it’s just as good because they always wanted a granddaughter.  Then Harriet comes over, and they assume Harriet is their granddaughter.  The Lawsons emphatically deny it.  I guess it would be weird for them to make Jamie's future wife his sister, too.  Harriet wanted to know who the guests were, and Ted reveals everything the Brindles need to know before Jamie scares her off.  

Vicki’s grandparents love her instantly.  They do comment on her voice, and Ted blames her tonsils.  He says she has three tonsils, and Joan says they’re large as walnuts.  Grandpa decides since Grandma is a woman, she should unpack, and he’s going to have fun with his new granddaughter.  Grandpa plays elephant with Vicki, but he can’t make an elephant sound.  Vicki does, and when she does it and he wants to know why, she goes, “three tonsils”.  Grandpa notices Vicki never runs down, and he needs to catch his breath.  He feels he got carried away, so Vicki tries to carry him away.  It leads to Ted revealing that Vicki is a robot.  Joan and Jamie explain how they love her like a real member of the family, but he feels duped.  He calls Vicki a worthless bucket of bolts and tells her he doesn’t like her.  Grandma tries to tell Vicki that she still loves her, but Vicki is upset Grandpa doesn’t like her and she cries.

Jamie and Joan are amazed that Vicki is crying, but Ted tries to pull the “robots don’t have feelings and emotions” thing but even he is stunned that Vicki is crying.  He admits he doesn’t know what it is.

Grandpa starts packing and Harriet pops up in the window.  Grandpa tells her that he wishes that Harriet was his real granddaughter.  Jamie and Vicki show up and Grandpa gets angry.  Jamie shuts the window on Harriet, but Grandpa has a heart attack.  The adults all rush up to the room after Jamie calls for them.  Grandma reveals that Grandpa didn't want them to worry so didn't tell them about his bad heart.  The adults rush out of the room to go get help, but Grandpa stops functioning.  Vicki doesn't even hesitate before she jump starts Grandpa, like she learned watching Trapper John.  I watch House and I don't feel at all qualified to determine something isn't lupus, so how is Trapper John going to program a robot?  Imagine how skilled she'd be if she'd been programmed by watching Scrubs, but I digress.

A week later, the grandparents are leaving.  Vicki carries down the luggage, and Grandma is upset Jamie’s letting a little girl do all the work.  Jamie reminds her she’s a robot, and Grandma admits she forgets and tells Vicki she’s adorable.  Vicki comments that she’s an adorable bucket of bolts.  Poor kid has a complex, but everyone is more sensitive to it now that she’s actually started crying.  Grandpa comes home from the hospital and he still hates Vicki.  She calls him a stubborn old fool as she takes his luggage to the car and when she’s outside, the family finally reveals – it was Vicki that saved his life.

After processing this information, Grandpa tells everyone he needs to talk to Vicki alone.  He tries to explain where he was coming from but admits that he’s starting to warm up to Vicki and asks her to give him a big hug, which she does.  The rest of the family joins them and Grandma tells Vicki that she’s a unique granddaughter and that they’re going to miss her, which leads to Vicki crying again.  Ted comments mockingly that she’s turning into a real woman, she cries when she’s sad and she cries when she’s sad and she cries when she’s happy.  His mother and his wife both punch him and it’s great.

And that’s it!  End of first season.  Next update will be a recap, and then the next one after that is the much talked about Small Wonder drinking game!  Then I should be all refreshed and ready to take on season 2.

Firsts: Vicki cries actual tears, Ted’s parents, Vicki jump starts a car, Vicki jump starts a heart