Season 2, Episode 8: Thanksgiving Story

Guys, this is the only time this blog will ever be seasonally relevant! Thursday is Thanksgiving, and here’s the review of the Thanksgiving episode! I really don’t remember this episode, but it involves Jamie Lawson lying so I’m sure I’ll love it. Let’s get to it!

We start with Vicki writing the grocery list, and Joan asks her if she’s done. Well, except Joan calls it the marketing list and I realize this isn’t the first time Joan has referred to grocery shopping as marketing. Is that what people really used to call it? I have no idea. Well, Vicki isn’t done, so Joan asks her to speed it up so Vicki writes so fast the paper starts smoking. Joan tells her not that fast, but she sure waits long enough to say that.

Ted and Jamie enter the kitchen and they want to know what’s going on. Joan says Vicki was working on the shopping list, so Ted makes a joke and he and Jamie laugh about it. Seriously, Ted, Joan hits. You know this. Joan says that they’re having a Thanksgiving with all the ingredients from the first Thanksgiving, and I feel like that’s just weird but whatever, it’s their Thanksgiving. Ted looks at the list and is surprised that Vicki included 91 Indians. How are you surprised? When has anyone ever been specific enough with their instructions to Vicki? And Vicki does point out that there were 91 Native Americans at the first Thanksgiving. Actually, she called them Redskins, but it is not 1986 right now, it’s 2015 and I have been indoctrinated with not being racist. Ted says they have to settle for three whiteskins and a robot, so see, racist.

Jamie notices venison is on the list and he refuses to eat Bambi. Then Joan says they have a lot to be thankful for, but that is a weird transition from Jamie not wanting to eat Bambi. That is a valid complaint. Either way, there’s a knock at the backdoor and it’s Harriet dressed as a turkey. It’s her costume for the school play, and she’s super proud. Joan says she’s sure Harriet will be the best turkey there ever was because sometimes Joan is perfect. Jamie agrees, but says it’s because Harriet has a lifetime of experience. These are the things they’ll laugh about when they’re married old people. Ted disapproves of Jamie’s comments while trying to suppress a laugh, so I’m back to hating Ted this week. Harriet tries to Brindle Swindle her way into a Thanksgiving invitation, but 2/3rds of the Lawsons in the room politely refuse.

There is another knock at the door, and Jamie opens it to reveal this kid we’ve never seen before and I know we’ll never see again. His name is Adam, and Jamie invites him in and introduces him to his parents. Then the Lawsons leave three kids alone in their kitchen while they go to the store, and I’m like, the Lawsons are a lot less strict than my parents were when I was 12, and I was a latchkey kid when I was 12. Adam reveals he came over to help Jamie fix his bike, and then Harriet flirts with Adam. You do you, girl. When Jamie decides he likes it, he’ll put a ring on it and in the meanwhile you don’t need to be waiting on his indecision.

We cut to Adam and Jamie working on the bike because transitions that make sense are impossible to find on Small Wonder. Adam says Jamie’s parents seem okay, and Jamie says they think they’re strict. Really, because they left two 12 year old boys and a 10 year old girl alone in their kitchen, and I’m not convinced they even know where Vicki was because I don’t. Adam reveals he lives with just his mom because his dad abandoned them - went to get a newspaper and never came back. It’s okay, Adam, you’re in good company. Tracy Jordan, Adrian Monk, and Punky Brewster are all memorable fictional characters whose dads stepped out on them. You’re really bland and forgettable, but clearly you can still grow up to do anything, even in Sitcomland. Adam explains that he’s a latchkey kid because his mom works two jobs, and Jamie thinks Adam has it tough. Adam gets real defensive and says he doesn’t and it bugs him when people think he does. Dude, you were the one who brought it up. If you’re just going to go around talking about being a latchkey kid, people are going to have reactions. Adam says being a latchkey kid has its advantages because a whole group of latchkey kids are going to a mountain resort for Thanksgiving. Shenanigans. I was a latchkey kid, and I had to watch my younger brothers when I was 12, and I got no mountain resort trips. I just got like, normal Thanksgiving. At my house. Jamie is interested in how that happened, and Adam says he filled out an application at the community center and answered some questions. Shenanigans again. My community center just has like, art classes and guitar lessons. Anyway, Jamie now sees the advantages of coming from a broken home.

Jamie approaches Ted with a proposal for a fun Thanskgiving, and Ted defends the 1621 Thanksgiving the Lawson family is going to have. Ted says Joan is going to slave over a hot stove all day, but Vicki is very quick to correct that point. Good on you, Vicki. Always acknowledge your worth. Anyway, it turns out Jamie wasn’t even going for the slimy approach of suggesting a trip to the mountains or anything. He just wanted his dad to play football with him, but both Ted and Joan blow him off. You know what, I’m pro whatever Jamie does to feel good about that this episode. That was pretty crummy. I’m used to Ted being a bad person, but come on Joan. You’re supposed to be perfect sometimes. Joan even made the sex joke in the scene. Wow.

In the kitchen, Jamie talks out how Adam’s going to have a blast while his Thanksgiving sucks. Then he gets an idea and whispers it to Vicki. Jamie, do you really need Vicki for this scheme? I mean, right now I’m super supportive of you doing what you need to do to get over the hurt of your parents not caring about your emotional needs, but don’t drag the girl with a social worker into it. Even though I’m sure they forgot that small detail. But Jamie Lawson has to be scheming something that would get social services called, because he never goes small.


Jamie and Vicki are at what I’m assuming is the community center, and Jamie asks Vicki if she remembers everything he told her because he’s counting on her, and she says it’s stored in her random access memory. Wow, that was clunky, guys. “Hey, just in case you tuned in 8 minutes into an episode and have never seen Small Wonder before, Jamie is scheming something with Vicki, who also happens to be a robot.” Jamie asks Vicki if she can cry tears, and Vicki explains how she can cry. Apparently, she can also sweat. But, hey, now we know how the robot cried when Grandpa said mean things about her. Jamie thinks the sweat thing is too much information, and says that Vicki should just cry.

The guy at the center enters the room and greets the kids and apologizes for making them wait, and Jamie wastes no time in laying it on thick. Jamie and Vicki have keys - where did they get those from? Did Jamie rent keys from latchkey kids? Where are those kids right now? Sure, explain the parts you don’t need to explain but gloss over the glaring details. The guy says Jamie forgot to fill in his father’s first name on the application and Jamie says he doesn’t remember it. I just can’t with this. We’re not even all the way through the first act. Okay, whatever, power through. Jamie’s even made up a very thorough story, even though I would think it’s suspicious that Jamie keeps asking Vicki to verify his details. Like, honest people don’t need so much validation, dude. So the guy asks if Vicki wants to go on the ski trip, too, but Jamie says no because Vicki needs to stay home in case anyone calls because his mom put their dad’s picture on a milk carton. I hate awkwardness and this is super freaking awkward. The guy asks for Jamie’s phone number so he can call, and then Jamie says they can’t afford a phone. See how full of holes your lie is, Jamie? I can’t believe Vicki didn’t call him out on that in rehearsal, but she probably wanted to see this train wreck.

We cut back to the Lawson house, and Joan cleaned out the fireplace in the living room because she thought it might be nice to have a fire after Thanskgiving dinner. I specify because the Lawsons have two fireplaces - trivia. Jamie offers to get some wood, but Joan says Vicki went to get some. Vicki comes back with a tree. Love that robot. The front doorbell rings and Jamie goes to answer it. It’s the guy from the center! Yay, more awkwardness. He says that Jamie’s mom has to fill out a consent form because they can’t just take kids into the mountains without one. That makes sense. Score one for Small Wonder. Then the guy says he has to confirm everything Jamie said because some kids try to scam ski trips. You don’t say.

Jamie tries to blow the guy off, but the guy calls Jamie out on it. Then Joan calls for Jamie and my gut is sent to cringe. Jamie is still trying to sell that he’s from a broken home while he is so obviously caught. Jamie is so super busted. Ted comes home, and Jamie still tries to sell it. Learn how to call it quits, Jamie. Jamie immediately apologizes when he’s called out on what he did, and Ted is quick to tell Jamie how selfish he was. Joan and Ted are also quick to punish Jamie without bothering to find out why he lied. That part bothers me. I mean, yes, Jamie did wrong, but they recognized less obvious red flags in other episodes. Is it that hard to even talk to your son? No wonder Jamie is always doing crazy things. Once Jamie leaves the room, Joan wonders what they should do with him, and Vicki suggests tying him to a tree, covering him in honey, and letting the ants eat him. She’s an awesome little sister. Ted decides to let Jamie see what Thanksgiving without his family is really like. Yeah, except, you were already giving him that. This whole thing started because you two blew him off when he wanted to spend Thanksgiving playing football with you, which you might know if you would just go talk to him. Sitcomland parenting is weird.

Ted and Joan sit down to Thanksgiving dinner, and expect Jamie to play along as they set up in alternate universe where there is no turkey. Guys, he’s looking right at it. You guys suck at this. Also, “hey, Jamie, why did you make up that outlandish story in the first place?” Those should be the words coming out of your mouth, not, “how could your mom have made a turkey if she’s working?” Jamie gives up the argument ridiculously fast, and Joan and Ted decide to eat without him. The guilt sets in really fast, too, but I’m amazed by how horrible the parenting in this episode is.

Jamie is hanging out in his room when Harriet comes up in the window. Jamie doesn’t even make her leave. Oh my gosh, this is full on depressed. Even Harriet kind of realizes something is off, but she’s 10 and doesn’t get into it. Acceptable. She’s 10, and she at least asked questions that Jamie didn’t answer. She’s not his parents. After Harriet leaves, Ted and Joan come up and forgive Jamie and tell him to join him for dinner. Jamie says no. Ted and Joan are like, “okay” and start to walk away, but Jamie points out they could have at least argued a little. Yeah, seriously. They could have done a lot differently in this episode.

So, at the table everyone says what they’re thankful for, and guys, Ted says he’s thankful for Vicki and she smiles. I love their relationship. It’s so complex. Jamie says he’s thankful for his parents. Of course you are, apparently you were the one who did wrong in this episode when your parents blew you off and then didn’t even care why you were acting out. Then we see Harriet’s face pressed up in the kitchen door. Wow. Ted invites her in, and Jamie invites her to eat. And so Harriet becomes part of the family. For thirty seconds. The end.

I don’t like awkward, but I do like this episode. Even though it did a lot of wrong things, it did get across being appreciative of what you have, and that’s really all you can ask for in Thanksgiving episodes - and there aren’t that many of those. It’s the stepchild of all the holidays. We get two days off of school and work, and we’re still like “you’re not as cool as Halloween or Christmas.” We should be more thankful for Thanksgiving. Even though Small Wonder was popular in other countries - I wonder what they think of this episode?