Season 1, Episode 18: RobotNappers

This review is an experiment in how well I can review Small Wonder while I’m angsting.  Originally, I was going to skip ahead and just watch episodes I like to drown my sorrows, because I’ve had a rough night, but I was like – where’s the fun in that?  This is another episode I just saw in the recent past and I don’t remember it, so, let’s get to it.

The episode starts with Joan and Vicki in the kitchen cooking, because why not.  Anyway, Joan is having a hard time with the can opener, so she asks Vicki to help her with a can of spinach.  She fully intended for Vicki to use the can opener, but Vicki went straight up Popeye on that shit and split the can in half.  Jamie comes home from school and says he’s hungry and wants a snack, but when he sees the only snack is carrot sticks he apparently isn’t hungry anymore because he suddenly wants to paint the clubhouse.  Work: it’s better than eating carrot sticks.  Jamie tries to get Vicki to help him, but Joan says Vicki can only watch. Good luck with that.  You told Jamie many times to stop using Vicki for homework and there was an entire episode that revolved around him disobeying that order.  But good for you for asserting that your robot daughter is not a robot slave.

As Jamie and Vicki go outside, Bonnie comes over to borrow some mayonnaise – and some other things – to finish up Brandon’s dinner.  Ted comes home and didn’t see Bonnie and starts to bad mouth Brandon.  With as much as Harriet comes over, that wasn’t smart of Ted, but he manages to blow it off when Bonnie questions him.  After she leaves, Ted continues with what he was trying to say.  It turns out that these robotics guys came over to his job and they were impressed with Ted, so he invites them to dinner to talk to them about working for them or something.  He also starts talking about giving up Vicki to a plant, which upsets Joan enough that he promises to get her the same Vicki back, but explains how the technology the better lab has could help him truly improve her.  Brandon and Bonnie come back over and Brandon wants to know what he missed at work. Ted swears nothing, and Brandon reveals he spied on Ted and the tech guys with binoculars – Harriet gets it on both sides; it’s genetic.

As Jamie is painting the clubhouse, Vicki announces that Harriet is coming – she can hear her footsteps on the lawn.  Jamie is impressed by Vicki’s hearing.  Sure enough, Harriet shows up, and Jamie Tom Sawyers her.  Of course, it backfires when Harriet realizes painting isn’t fun.  Jamie convinces Harriet to help so she can join the club and be the only girl among eight boys, and she gives in.

The tech guys come in, and Ted decides he’s not going to reveal Vicki is a robot until the end of the night to see how long she can fool experts.  So of course, Ted shows her off right away.  She shows off her knowledge, lifts up Ted, and breaks a table with a karate chop.  No subtlety here.  The tech guys immediately offer Ted a job, and Ted has to think about it.  What?  The entire episode, he pretty much says he wants the job, and he has to think about it?  Anyway, the tech guys pick up on the fact Vicki is a robot right away.  One of the guys is pure evil though and is like, “Screw giving Lawson a job now, let’s steal his kid.”

Jamie comes in and says that he was hungry from painting the clubhouse.  Vicki reveals that Jamie tricked Harriet into it, because Vicki doesn’t believe in letting Jamie have bullshit victories.  Vicki uses her hearing to also reveal that she overheard the evil prick threaten to steal her.  The Lawsons try to come up with a way to keep Vicki safe, and the Brindles come over after noticing the tech guys.  The Brindles pull their swindle and get themselves invited to dinner.

In the kids’ room, Vicki and Harriet play checkers but Harriet gets tired of losing.  Harriet says she wants to play the game she saw Vicki and Jamie playing the day before, when she saw Vicki in the cabinet, and then she proceeds to act like a robot.  Sure enough, the kidnapping prick shows up in the window and sees Harriet acting like a robot.  Seriously, how did he know which window to look into?  This leads the prick to believe Brindle is a genius and Harriet is actually a robot.  The Brindles and the tech guys leave, and Vicki reveals that they think Harriet is a robot.  They all have a laugh and then Jamie beats Vicki for trying to steal some pizza.  Actually, the way Vicki mouths, “oh,” I’m pretty sure that was a mistake, but still.

That’s it.  Apparently, all it takes to trump a ton of physical evidence that someone is a robot is someone else claiming to be one.  This episode was pretty freaking ridiculous.  Also, they really abused Vicki’s super hearing when she’s never had it before.

Firsts: Someone thinks Brandon is a genius; someone figures out Vicki is a robot and admits it; someone wants to steal Vicki; Vicki has a never before mentioned ability without being programmed